To those who wait

Do not wait to have a conversation, to meet the girl, to talk to the boss. Know rarity and spark when you see it. I challenge everyone to act when your gut tells you to and don’t allow you head or your story to get in the way.

If you wait a year…

That is a year of meeting people. That is a year of YOU meeting people and a year of ME meeting people. If you didn’t take action when you first wanted to then that makes “me” a second thought.

It is not anyone else’s responsibility to take the initiative to have the conversation. If you blame someone else or a situation for not taking the initiative it will show that you actually were too weak or it just was not the right time.

If you know someone through a mutual friend, do not put the responsibility on them. Take action. Ask for that girls number, make that phone call, send that text message.

If you want that job, you have to make yourself different and put tools in your toolbelt to make you stand out. Find a mentor, read a book or watch a webinar. There is so much opportunity for you to set yourself apart and in the time we live in there is so much information and education all around us that you can empower yourself easily.

Be bold. Be different.

I am rare. I am driven. I am beautiful and I am powerful. It has taken me quite some time to know these qualities and not see them as hindrances. But in them, every day I find strength. I can lean on them and I know when I am down that they will lift me up. This stands true for both my work relationships, my family relationships, and my personal relationships.

These qualities now have become standard in my life. Only those who lift me up, make me smile, and push me to continue to rise will be in my life.

Those who wait, I will pass by. Those who wait, still have qualities, confidence and lessons that they’re questioning about themselves. I respect where everyone is in their own life but the people i invest time in are also shift, growing and learning.

I am not someone to sit and wait.

If someone chooses something in their life, respect that and they will respect you too. Do not challenge that decision, only question and support it. You will learn something from yourself in this.

Find and define your own rarity. Find and define your own drive. Be comfortable in both procrastination and excitement. In this moment, I call for you to take action. If it’s making that relationship work, lifting those weights or applying for that job; make a move.

You are worth your dreams. Please don’t wait. I challenge you now to recognize and believe in your own procrastination and drive.

In rest is beauty it is time to dive inside sort some things out and define exactly what you want. In that time you can create a plan can be formed to initiate the drive.

Do not wait.

You are worth that jump, that leap, but you must see the rarity around you. Allow that rarity that you see to echo the rarity within.

And so it is.

The List

The list is a concept that goes with manifestation but also recognition of the things you want in your life.

The list is a literally a list of qualities, actions, features, and dreams you want to find while looking for your significant other. This is a list that evolves and changes over time. It doesn’t matter how long or how short or how many times you change “the list”. The important thing is to continue to add to it while you meet people.

You do not have to add to this list only after dates but after meeting any person and finding and noticing a quality that you’d like to see in your other.

Example list:

  • Boldness.
  • The way he looked at me, made me feel like I was the only person in the room.
  • Someone with the strength to make me feel safe.
  • The way he makes me laugh so hard that I could pee myself.
  • How well he knew me. Instead of being annoyed that I need to stop in the car to pee, it became a joke. “I bet you have to pee in 3 miles.”
  • Sends me dumb memes.
  • When his hand always seems to find mine.
  • Expects me to rise and challenges me to be a better person.
  • Someone that understands the intimacy of kissing my forehead.
  • Pet friendly.

You do not have to add to this list only after dates. You can learn things from all people round you. What about your co-worker, a friend or a stranger do you LOVE and would love to see in your partner. Notice the qualities and add to your list.

Example additions:

  • I want someone that “lights up” like the little old man at the gym that greets me at the door every day.
  • I want to go on random coffee and cupcake dates like I have with my gay-best-friend.
  • I like that my boss always takes my ideas into consideration. I don’t expect them to respond immediately but I want someone that can have a conversation with me.
  • Respects my career like my staff do.

This is an opportunity to always grow. I challenge you to find the positive in every person you encounter, not matter how challenging the situation. What is one thing you want to walk always with that you want your next date to mimic.

Someday, when you are ready all the things on your list will show up in one person. Cherish it. It can be scary. It can be terrifying. You will find yourself pushing them away because you will need to determine and find inside yourself that you are worthy of the wonderful person you’ve been working on manifesting for YEARS.

For now, have fun. Learn from every person and add, delete and edit your list. Do not be surprised by the beautiful ways that your list shows up exactly the way you asked.

Always add and repeat to yourself when you review your list, “Or something better.”

And so it is.

Featured Photo: My lifelong friend is an amazing owner, makeup artist and esthetician of Wildflower Beauty in Lake Mill Wisconsin. She has always been self-driven, creative and unique. She married her tall dark and handsome husband in 2017.  I adore her, her family and her never ending love for life.

Check out Brittany today!

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After intimacy, he changed.

While helping people I hear this all to often.

 

“He was amazing and sweet and we had some great dates and then we got intimate and he changed. His communication change, he drifted away. I am anxious that I ruined things.”

Everyone gets nervous.

This is my pep-talk to anyone that may be experiencing this type of anxiety.

 

Know that everything you have, and everything you have to offer is AMAZING! You are more than sex! If that’s all he was trying to go after then you deserve better. You need to know that you’re worth amazing. You are worth your wildest dreams and then more!

 

If he wants to walk away form AMAZING, let him walk.

 

State what happened. ” We were dating and then we got initiate. After getting intimate he no longer talks to me the say way.” This is exactly what happened. The story you are telling yourself is where you are driving yourself crazy. Nothing in what happened did he say that you are not worth his love, or that he is not interested. Your anxiety is rising from the “meaning” you are assigning to what happened.

 

After those great dates and good conversation you have things to add or delete from “your list“. You can add that you loved the way he talked to you, greeted you and made you smile. You deserve that all the time not just before getting intimate.

 

Set yourself up as an expectation for dates to rise to.

“How do you do that?”

 

State exactly what you expect, and don’t always give in. Don’t always be available. Live your life and fit them in when you can.

 

If you get too annoyed and he is starting to trail off, just cut it off and move on. He is not worth “wondering” if he can’t understand your worth. State exactly what your expectations were and are.

 

Example:

“I love the way you talked to me in the beginning. Because you gave me that, it became a standard and an expectation. You proved to me that you’re capable of it. After we became intimate you decided to back off and I’m on not OK with that. I want more that you currently are giving me. I am going to back off and wish you luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for but I am going to look for someone that can rise to my standards.”

 

You are not accusing him of anything, you are not assuming anything. You are simply stating the truth and sharing that your current needs and expectations are not being met. What happened and not the story.

And so it is.

 

 

Featured photo: I worked with this beautiful, strong, independent woman, Teral when I lived in Milwaukee. She is someone that always creates her own path, her own style and lives the life she wants to live. No matter what gets thrown at her she comes out stronger, more creative and presents herself with an positive outlook. She

Teral is the owner of Salvage Apparel and Neck Ties & High Heels in Milwaukee, WI. She has taken second hand shopping to a whole new level by creating unique, bold and strong sense of personal style for her customers.  

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