Love Knows No Bounds

Love is like an open hand filled with Play Dough.

The Play Dough can take any shape it wants in an open hand. It can take the shape of heart, pet, house, friendship but it knows no bounds in an open hand. It can spread and it can grow. It can be thick and thin.

Love, like an open hand of Play Dough, knows no bounds, beginning or and end. If you allow it to “just be” it then it will continue to grow.

Love doesn’t know restrictions or space.

When you put restrictions on it and start to close your hand it seeps out in all the spaces you don’t want it.

Just like you do not love one child more than another, you cannot force another person to love in one way. You cannot control their love and you cannot force them to start or stop. When you begin to try to mold love it comes out in all the spaces you don’t want to.

If a relationship ends, the love does not end. The relationship changes and the love continues.

Love is in a friendship, it is in the heart of a pet and it touches us. If you are able to accept love for all that it is and all that it isn’t, then love knows no bounds.

And so it is.

The way you do fitness, is the way you do life.

However you are currently “doing fitness” or how you approach your health is also how you are showing up in all aspects of your life.

Think about it.

1. Do you make time for your health and fitness? Is this an area that you have made a priority? If so, then you are making time for family, friends and your health. You communicate your priorities and if something is not in alignment with this goal you make adjustments to accommodate both in your life.

2. When you walk into the gym are you a social butterfly? How else is this showing up in your life? Are looking for an escape or a release from what’s really important? You may eb-and-flow between focus and distraction. At work when you don’t want to complete a task, do you find people to talk to? When you are uncomfortable do you make jokes?

3. Are you avoiding your health and fitness? Are you confused even where to start? Where is this showing up in your life? There are projects that you are avoiding and you have not done the research to get started. There is a conversation you likely have been avoiding with an ex-girlfriend, a boss or a stubborn parent. There is a trip you have always wanted to take and you dream about it daily but have not started the planning.

4. Do you go between two extremes? All in or all out. You go balls-to-the-wall and go every day, only to find that in a week or two you burn out and go back to the other extreme of sleeping and not eating for your optimal health. How else does this show up in your life? Do you work day and night on a project and once it is complete you curl up on the couch with your favorite blanket for a week? Do you drink an entire bottle of wine and then claim that you will not drink again? Do you date a girl and see her every day but in a month you jump ship?

5. Do you have a systematic approach to your health and wellness? You workout on a regular basis, like clock work and never deviate from the plan. Sometimes the same plans goes on for months or years. How else does this balance show up in your life? But, do you also not have enough fun? It’s all routine and very little play. You are able to go to work and the gym but where is the adventure?

What do all of these have in common?

Choice.

Your circumstances do not define who you are or who you will be. Becoming aware of your way of being is the first step in becoming who you want to be and where you want to go.

You can catch yourself in your way of being. Notice the habits you get stuck in and take action to break the routine. In each of these cases you can only improve. Start with your approach to fitness and you may discover all the other avenues that your life can take. Hire a trainer to keep you accountable, find a friend that will workout with you but won’t let you be a social butterfly, put the workout into your calendar and set a goal.

Define your fitness and create your life.

And so it is.

Fear is Excitement without Breath

I have been taking with a lot of people about fear recently and then a wonderful woman in my life talked about excitement and it all fell together. Fear is what holds us back and keeps us small. Our ego steps in whenever their is opportunity for growth and brings up the fears around that potential growth. You have to be able to take the leap, be unreasonable and trust that on the other side of fear will be growth and a world of wonder that you would have never dreamed possible.

Fear is healthy but also is an opportunity. Fear is what makes you act in actual unsafe situations. But, with practice you will be able to determine what is unsafe vs. what is ego.

Your natural fight or flight does not need to be activated all the time. Fight or flight is your entire system being in a state of excitement. Your senses are heightened and you are READY. In this situation you are without breath. You are only in action mode. In danger this is perfect because all you can do is act. When you start to feel this excitement I challenge you to take a breath.

Take a breath.

Bring yourself back into your body.

Question if you are actually in danger.

Question the way ego is keeping you small.

Question what would your life be like if you acted out of excitement vs. fear.

When you are ready to grow you will come RIGHT up to the edge of change. You will be in a state of excitement. Ego will step in and tell you all the reasons that you should not take the action to move on the other side of the line.

Pancakes!!!

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love Pancakes!!! When I was growing up EVERY Saturday my dad would make pancakes from scratch.

Now, I still love pancakes but have found ways to expand the volume and fill them with protein.

Macros

340cal

34C | 3F | 40P | 6Fib

Ingredients (per serving):

    53g Kodiak Cakes, protein packed buttermilk flapjack and waffle mix
    100g shredded zucchini
    1g stevia
    138g egg whites
    1 second spray oil
    Toppings of choice

I use the shredded zucchini to double the volume but it still keeps the same flavor of the pancakes. I also use the egg whites instead of water as my mixing agent. This increases the protein. I like a sweeter pancake so the stevia takes it from a waffle flavor to a pancake.

Costco carries these giant boxes of pancake mix! It’s the best price I have found!!!

Step 1: Shred zucchini

Step 2: Add stevia to zucchini. I put the zucchini in first so that the pancake mix doesn’t stick to my bowl. I also love this 4 cup mixing cup. It allows me to just pour right into the pan.

Step 3: Add pancake mix

Step 4: Add egg whites

Step 5: mix with a fork

Step 6: Spray pan and cook pancakes, I find that I have to use a rubber scraper to get them to flatten out and become round… that pesky zucchini makes them weird shapes

Step 7: Stack and enjoy

I get pretty creative with my toppings, this particular day I used the Walden Farms chocolate syrup and raw unsweetened coconut to make “German Chocolate Cake – Pancakes”

Fear of Failure = Sabotage

It is amazing what fear does inside your head and how you act it out unconsciously to “keep you safe”.

I designed a meditation about fear to work through the “reasons” for why I have been sabotaging my own success in the arena of my body transformation.

I have come to a point along my transformation where people are starting to notice and comment about the changes. This is an uncomfortable feeling because it is uncharted territory. I know how to be mediocrely fit, super strong, kinda fluffy and “thick”. This fit girl is new and weird because I don’t know how to be her. I only have history to relate to and in the past when I was smaller I was sick, accomplishing weight loss through unhealthily doing cardio and eating erratically.

A few weeks ago my coach said to me, “You are going to be in the 160s in no time.” My mind freaked out. I don’t know how to be in the 160s. I have never even thought that was a possibility. I know how to do 170s pretty unsuccessfully but the 160s, NOPE. I am really good at 180 or more. This new territory is uncomfortable and my ego craved to go backwards into the comfortable. I began sabotaging my success. I know how to over eat. I was with family and friends which became the perfect outlet. “Because” they were all eating I didn’t want to be difficult I just did what I always do… eat all the food and not be accountable to it.

My craving and desire to be in control and to be comfortable was “fed” by doing things that I knew how to do.

  • I know how to be 180
  • I know how to eat all the food
  • I know how to feed the feelings instead of feel them.

Most of this was all happening unconsciously. I knew that I was eating, I knew I was not tracking it and I knew that it was not going to get me to my goal but WHY?

My need for security and control were so strong that I was willing to compromise everything, (Progress, integrity, possibility).

  1. A feeling is only a feeling. It is not what is actually happening.
  2. We assign meaning or a story to that feeling.
  3. We act as if the meanings and stories are actually happening to us.

In my case:

  1. I have been feeling uncomfortable in this new uncharted territory.
  2. The meaning I have assigned to these feelings: I will fail because it is what happened in the past. My friends and family will not accept this new me. I don’t deserve this success.
  3. The actions I have taken to get away from the uncomfortable and insecure feelings were to do everything that IS comfortable. Doing what is comfortable, eating and following and old success pattern satiated the need for security.

If there is no such thing as feelings then there is no such thing as security, and there is no such thing as uncomfortable.

I declare to be the cause in my life instead of creating because(s). Instead of getting stuck in the “what if” I am going to jump into the unreasonable.

Reason = Because

Action = [be]ing the cause

And so it is.

18 Week Transformation/Progress

I have done macro counting in the past but a big shift in my life made me reach out and hire a new coach. I joined Hybrid Performance Method Nutrition 18 weeks ago. I was blessed to be paired with coach Greg Sutton. With all the shit that has come up between work, rage, police departments, traveling and finally falling into a place of growth he has “stood” by my side and supported me to find the strength within. He changes me macros and makes me laugh weekly.

There is about an 18lb difference between these two pictures.

My current macros are: 165C | 48F | 175P | 25Fib

Things I’m consistent about during this process:

  1. Lift 5-6 days per week. I spend about 1-1.5 hours lifting in the evening after work.
  2. Do low intensity cardio 1-5 days per week either before work or in the form of short walks during my work day.
  3. Meditate daily.
  4. Get a massage once a month (I have been a member at Massage Envy for about 10 years).
  5. Currently see a chiropractor 1 time per week (recent injury in my hip/back). Cal, you have saved me!
  6. Drink a minimum of 150oz of water per day.
  7. Coffee! Every day!
  8. Pancakes a minimum of 1 day per week.
  9. Sleep 4-9 hours per night.
  10. . Find a way to play every day: (Reading, pulling cards, laughing, painting, good sex, cooking something new, listen to loud music, wear pretty underwear, plan a trip, call a friend you haven’t talk to in months, find a new meme and share it).

The joureny is not over and this transformation contines. Follow me today for workouts, funny stories, recipes and mindfullness.

To those who wait

Do not wait to have a conversation, to meet the girl, to talk to the boss. Know rarity and spark when you see it. I challenge everyone to act when your gut tells you to and don’t allow you head or your story to get in the way.

If you wait a year…

That is a year of meeting people. That is a year of YOU meeting people and a year of ME meeting people. If you didn’t take action when you first wanted to then that makes “me” a second thought.

It is not anyone else’s responsibility to take the initiative to have the conversation. If you blame someone else or a situation for not taking the initiative it will show that you actually were too weak or it just was not the right time.

If you know someone through a mutual friend, do not put the responsibility on them. Take action. Ask for that girls number, make that phone call, send that text message.

If you want that job, you have to make yourself different and put tools in your toolbelt to make you stand out. Find a mentor, read a book or watch a webinar. There is so much opportunity for you to set yourself apart and in the time we live in there is so much information and education all around us that you can empower yourself easily.

Be bold. Be different.

I am rare. I am driven. I am beautiful and I am powerful. It has taken me quite some time to know these qualities and not see them as hindrances. But in them, every day I find strength. I can lean on them and I know when I am down that they will lift me up. This stands true for both my work relationships, my family relationships, and my personal relationships.

These qualities now have become standard in my life. Only those who lift me up, make me smile, and push me to continue to rise will be in my life.

Those who wait, I will pass by. Those who wait, still have qualities, confidence and lessons that they’re questioning about themselves. I respect where everyone is in their own life but the people i invest time in are also shift, growing and learning.

I am not someone to sit and wait.

If someone chooses something in their life, respect that and they will respect you too. Do not challenge that decision, only question and support it. You will learn something from yourself in this.

Find and define your own rarity. Find and define your own drive. Be comfortable in both procrastination and excitement. In this moment, I call for you to take action. If it’s making that relationship work, lifting those weights or applying for that job; make a move.

You are worth your dreams. Please don’t wait. I challenge you now to recognize and believe in your own procrastination and drive.

In rest is beauty it is time to dive inside sort some things out and define exactly what you want. In that time you can create a plan can be formed to initiate the drive.

Do not wait.

You are worth that jump, that leap, but you must see the rarity around you. Allow that rarity that you see to echo the rarity within.

And so it is.

The List

The list is a concept that goes with manifestation but also recognition of the things you want in your life.

The list is a literally a list of qualities, actions, features, and dreams you want to find while looking for your significant other. This is a list that evolves and changes over time. It doesn’t matter how long or how short or how many times you change “the list”. The important thing is to continue to add to it while you meet people.

You do not have to add to this list only after dates but after meeting any person and finding and noticing a quality that you’d like to see in your other.

Example list:

  • Boldness.
  • The way he looked at me, made me feel like I was the only person in the room.
  • Someone with the strength to make me feel safe.
  • The way he makes me laugh so hard that I could pee myself.
  • How well he knew me. Instead of being annoyed that I need to stop in the car to pee, it became a joke. “I bet you have to pee in 3 miles.”
  • Sends me dumb memes.
  • When his hand always seems to find mine.
  • Expects me to rise and challenges me to be a better person.
  • Someone that understands the intimacy of kissing my forehead.
  • Pet friendly.

You do not have to add to this list only after dates. You can learn things from all people round you. What about your co-worker, a friend or a stranger do you LOVE and would love to see in your partner. Notice the qualities and add to your list.

Example additions:

  • I want someone that “lights up” like the little old man at the gym that greets me at the door every day.
  • I want to go on random coffee and cupcake dates like I have with my gay-best-friend.
  • I like that my boss always takes my ideas into consideration. I don’t expect them to respond immediately but I want someone that can have a conversation with me.
  • Respects my career like my staff do.

This is an opportunity to always grow. I challenge you to find the positive in every person you encounter, not matter how challenging the situation. What is one thing you want to walk always with that you want your next date to mimic.

Someday, when you are ready all the things on your list will show up in one person. Cherish it. It can be scary. It can be terrifying. You will find yourself pushing them away because you will need to determine and find inside yourself that you are worthy of the wonderful person you’ve been working on manifesting for YEARS.

For now, have fun. Learn from every person and add, delete and edit your list. Do not be surprised by the beautiful ways that your list shows up exactly the way you asked.

Always add and repeat to yourself when you review your list, “Or something better.”

And so it is.

Featured Photo: My lifelong friend is an amazing owner, makeup artist and esthetician of Wildflower Beauty in Lake Mill Wisconsin. She has always been self-driven, creative and unique. She married her tall dark and handsome husband in 2017.  I adore her, her family and her never ending love for life.

Check out Brittany today!

https://wildflower-beauty.blog/

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After intimacy, he changed.

While helping people I hear this all to often.

 

“He was amazing and sweet and we had some great dates and then we got intimate and he changed. His communication change, he drifted away. I am anxious that I ruined things.”

Everyone gets nervous.

This is my pep-talk to anyone that may be experiencing this type of anxiety.

 

Know that everything you have, and everything you have to offer is AMAZING! You are more than sex! If that’s all he was trying to go after then you deserve better. You need to know that you’re worth amazing. You are worth your wildest dreams and then more!

 

If he wants to walk away form AMAZING, let him walk.

 

State what happened. ” We were dating and then we got initiate. After getting intimate he no longer talks to me the say way.” This is exactly what happened. The story you are telling yourself is where you are driving yourself crazy. Nothing in what happened did he say that you are not worth his love, or that he is not interested. Your anxiety is rising from the “meaning” you are assigning to what happened.

 

After those great dates and good conversation you have things to add or delete from “your list“. You can add that you loved the way he talked to you, greeted you and made you smile. You deserve that all the time not just before getting intimate.

 

Set yourself up as an expectation for dates to rise to.

“How do you do that?”

 

State exactly what you expect, and don’t always give in. Don’t always be available. Live your life and fit them in when you can.

 

If you get too annoyed and he is starting to trail off, just cut it off and move on. He is not worth “wondering” if he can’t understand your worth. State exactly what your expectations were and are.

 

Example:

“I love the way you talked to me in the beginning. Because you gave me that, it became a standard and an expectation. You proved to me that you’re capable of it. After we became intimate you decided to back off and I’m on not OK with that. I want more that you currently are giving me. I am going to back off and wish you luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for but I am going to look for someone that can rise to my standards.”

 

You are not accusing him of anything, you are not assuming anything. You are simply stating the truth and sharing that your current needs and expectations are not being met. What happened and not the story.

And so it is.

 

 

Featured photo: I worked with this beautiful, strong, independent woman, Teral when I lived in Milwaukee. She is someone that always creates her own path, her own style and lives the life she wants to live. No matter what gets thrown at her she comes out stronger, more creative and presents herself with an positive outlook. She

Teral is the owner of Salvage Apparel and Neck Ties & High Heels in Milwaukee, WI. She has taken second hand shopping to a whole new level by creating unique, bold and strong sense of personal style for her customers.  

Check out Salvage Apparel today!

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