Why a gratitude list

Everyday I get out my journal. Sometimes I know what I’m going to write. Sometimes I have no idea.

Something I have been challenged to continue to implement is the practice of gratitude in the form of a list.

We all have things that make us frustrated and mad. Annoyed or upset. Taking the time to sit and really find the things to be grateful can be hard at times. But with practice, you will be able to find those things much quicker, much faster.

You attract who you are. Do you want to attract people who are angry, sad, upset, self-centered? Or you can begin you be proactive and choose your thoughts. Choose what you are grateful for. Bring more of that into existence by being that.

I invite you to start your day with one thing you can focus on and be grateful for. Where do you feel that gratitude? Where can you focus that gratitude? The more you focus on gratitude and being thankful, the more things will show up to be grateful and thankful for.

They also don’t have to be huge things to be grateful for. It can be finding gratitude in the small things. Like this beautiful dirty chai that I’m incredibly grateful for as I write this blog post.

Try it out.

What is anxiety?

IMG_0198For years of my life I have struggled with anxiety and I didn’t even know that it was. I knew I had a streak of stubborness but I had no idea it was just anxiety. I would freak out if things didn’t go as planned. I litterly built my life around planning. I was a wedding planner, a strategic planner and buisness executive. I have a keen mind where I have that uncanny ability to see all the things that can ponetially go wrong before it ever happens. This is a beautiful insight as an operations executive but this also left me with frustration, wonder and worry.

If things didn’t go as planned or if someone wasn’t fitting inside of the box as I thought they should, my eye would twitch. Specifically, my left eye. This would happen when I was annoyed or when things weren’t going my way. This is not the most flattering literal twitch to have when you are leading a team of a couple hundred people people. There were many meetings where I would lean into my left hand just so that people couldn’t see my left eye twitching.

Then I learned present vs. future and where I am actually living.

When I feel myself getting into a state of just frustration because things are NOT going my way is when my stomach turns in knots and my left eye might twitch. The situation has not even happened yet and yet my body is experiencing the future as if it is happening now. The feelings my body is expereicing are the fear of what MIGHT happen.

Anxiety is worry and worry is the thought of something in the future.
It is NOT happening right now.

My eye would twitch because I was trying to controls something in the future that had not even happened yet. Once I was able to separate the difference between my feelings and myself i was able to get into action and impact what actually happened in the future.

Now when I start to feel flutters, twitches, heat, sweating about a situation i am I’m able to put my feet on the ground. I am able to become aware that whatever I am thinking about has not happened yet.

The circumstances that made you flutter, heat up or twitch are simply the reality of what is currently happening. Allowing these feelings to continue only distracts your mind from taking action. You have the choice to reframe your view of the situation. Instead of spending time and physical energy on the “shoulds/coulds” you can just get into action.

You have teh choice to stop putting your body in the future and allowing your anxieties or your frustrations to rule how you are experience your life, RIGHT NOW. The body can expereince feelings. You are not your feelings. You have a body. The feelings and sessations of the body do not define your personality or who you are.

Stop living in the future. Set yourself free, define the feeling and get into action.

#theYESandLife

The yes and life.

There is no right, there is no wrong. What if you could have everything you wanted and you were able to step outside of fear and stand in the yes of life?

Try this on for size, this week pick one day and any time someone invites you to do something you say yes. This experiment involves you getting out of your ego, pessimistic state of mind and go into the experience by full of curiosity.

What is the worst that could happen? You end up at a lunch that you didn’t plan on. At that lunch you meet someone while waiting in line that has one of the biggest business deals of your career. Or you get a free lunch. Or you learn something new about a co-worker that allows your work relationship and communication to thrive.

Humans get cough up in their reasons and the life they live completely out of habit. You have identified yourself as someone and you customize your entire world to fit that picture you have painted. You are a mom, so you tell yourself that you cant travel or take time to go to the gym. You are “Type A” so you tell yourself that you can’t do something spontaneous. You are unorganized so you tell yourself that you can be late for all of your meetings. There is a entirely different option out there and it all starts by saying yes.

You get to say “yes and…” fill in the blank.

Yes I will go to lunch and will you drive?

Yes, I will go on the snowboarding trip and I will keep my job.

Yes, I will be a mom and a badass.

Yes, I will be an engineer and a personal trainer.

Drop the either or that you have decided your life has to be and start living the life that you always dreamed.

Start with one simple “yes” this week.

Register for that program.

Have a fantastic marriage and be in an open relationship.

Book the flight.

Finish the book.

Hit a PR in the gym.

Have the hard conversation with your lover.

Whatever it is that is holding you back? I challenge you to go on the other side of your reasons and start customizing your life.

Register for the program you have always dreamt of but you dont know where the money is going to come from or you don’t know what hotel you would stay in. The point of this exercise is start somewhere. By registering for the program you are saying “yes!” Then all of the other situations/hows will fall together. You are telling the universe a direction and the how’s will start to show up. Give into the “WHAT” drives you and the hows, the paths, the money will start to align.

Have you always wanted to travel to another state but just were too scared or didnt know what would happen or you didnt have anyone to go with? Well this is your opportunity to do some research and get on the other side of your reasons. Start with the What, say yes and book the flight. Then all of your excitement will fuel the conversations you have with people. All of these conversations a random friend might become your co-traveler, someone might tell you about a great deal they got on a rental car and someone might give you a lead on an amazing adventure they recommend when you get there.

Build #theYESandLife of your dreams.

Resolution vs. Intention

It is now the time to begin moving beyond the source of setting a resolution. Resolution is an acknowledgment that something is wrong if not good enough with the current pot present state. If the moment is perfect and you cannot change the now then you can only move forward. In the moving forward is the ability to set an an intention. Intention is the ability tans the outlook that you want something more. That you intent to create a new owls and that there is a possibility that you currently are not living into. Intention has a positive undying tone vs. resolution which is caring the past into the future. Interior is about seating yourself free and saying now. Now is the time and now again and that you intend to show up differently.

Set intention not resolutions because there is nothing wrong with the past and you are able to set yourself free from the way of being that you once were and you no long need to carry that experience from your childhood or last week into your future.

Your way of being was built as a protective mechanism so you would not have to feel like something was wrong, you were not good enough, your on your own and that you don’t belong. These beliefs no longer serve who you are becoming.

Setting an intention is being free to create your life as possibility.

Setting an intention is having integrity with the current situation.

Setting an intention is knowing that the universe will guide the path for your greatest growth. You may not know the how but you can create the “what”.

You get to be the one that explores the light between each. The path may not be of least resistance but it will be perfectly set up for you to grow the most and become who the universe has set for you to become.

And so it is.

Love Knows No Bounds

Love is like an open hand filled with Play Dough.

The Play Dough can take any shape it wants in an open hand. It can take the shape of heart, pet, house, friendship but it knows no bounds in an open hand. It can spread and it can grow. It can be thick and thin.

Love, like an open hand of Play Dough, knows no bounds, beginning or and end. If you allow it to “just be” it then it will continue to grow.

Love doesn’t know restrictions or space.

When you put restrictions on it and start to close your hand it seeps out in all the spaces you don’t want it.

Just like you do not love one child more than another, you cannot force another person to love in one way. You cannot control their love and you cannot force them to start or stop. When you begin to try to mold love it comes out in all the spaces you don’t want to.

If a relationship ends, the love does not end. The relationship changes and the love continues.

Love is in a friendship, it is in the heart of a pet and it touches us. If you are able to accept love for all that it is and all that it isn’t, then love knows no bounds.

And so it is.

Wellness: Cheetah Print

For many years I have struggled with my health and wellness. From the outside I am put together, fit and “well”. The reality is that I have struggled. I have strugged with skin conditions, hormone inbalances, immune suppression, and digestive problems. I have spent close to $10,000 on testing, medications, doctor visitis and supplements. I have had all sorts of  diagnoses: gluten intollerance (which was then negated), candida, allergy to the female hormones, PMDD, high recommendation that I do not have children, and the list goes on.

About 5 years ago I was sick of everything and I quit going to doctors all together. I take care of myself and I figured my body would eventually just balance.

I experience highs, lows, frustration, saddness and insecurities. These are all symptoms you can’t see. From the time I was 12, I had a never ending menstrual cycle. To this day my hormones are all over the place, so I’ve chosen to go with an IUD.  Even with this, I still experience a cycle.

This year I have gone down the path of working to heal my life and try different experiements. My goal is to optimize my human performance in the gym and in my every day life. Personal development school, hiring coaches, trying new doctors and all sorts of things to live as long and as healhty as possible.

I can tell my gut health is not the best and I am consuming soemthing my body is adverse to because I have what I call “Cheetah Print”. You can see in this picture. There are some spots on my neck and chest. I call this my cheetah print.

The cheetah print covers most of my body. It changes colors depending on the time of year, the clothes I wear and things I eat. I’ve had them on and off most of my life. If I do a Candida cleanse, they can go away but that’s just as awful three months of just eating green beans, clay and protein.

I also recently learned that this is hereditary, a few of my aunts also have cheetah print. I’m lucky right now that it has not spread to my face. I do a lot of skin care because I have acne.

I experience a lot of anxiety and insecurities because of the spots. Ego sometimes takes over the human form and I just want the outside to match the inside.

I realize that the root cause is likely something I’m consuming. Now I and this platform are going on the journey of research, experiments and progress.

Here goes everything.

And so it is.

Faith vs. Religion

Religion is not an enemy. It is a structure that gets us from point A to B and can bring humans a form of enlightenment. As all humans rise in this collective consciousness of unity old systems are weakening. Many of the systems created were at a time in humanity that order was needed for survival.

“Righting” or “wronging” religion is judging the way that human has chosen to rise. You have the choice to drop the judgement and stand in just loving and knowing that each human will find their path.

The enlightenment and the rising that we are experiencing is humanity entering into this true function of love.

Each human is on a spectrum towards enlightenment and the rising.

That collective consciousness is shifting from religion to just being. Religion has always given humans a place to come together. Humans are now stepping outside of the bounds from which the rules constrain to a place where we can simply just exist and find the nature of which humans can connect.

By nature we judge and it takes courage to stand outside of those judgments. Life is outside of us. The stories that run through our brains are just that. Existing and being instead of doing is outside of us.

As humans, we only know the right the wrong, yes and no, better and worse. It is our nature to categorize. It takes work to drop the category and just be.

By accepting our nature and recognizing our nature we can break free from it.

Accept the fact that we assign meaning to every action around us. After recognizing, we get to define the future meaning and how we live into them.

Let go of trying to control somone’s experience in religion or not. Show up exactly as the light that you are. They may choose to follow or ponder. If not today, you will enlighten them or show them a path in their future.

Love is not limited and knows no bounds. You don’t love one person, just like you do not love one child more than you love another.

Don’t waste your light on frustration or control. Recognize the emotion (joy, frustration, irritation) as an emotion and move on. Emotions are not you. They are a human experience. Instead, channel that energy to take an action that inspires you.

And so it is.

afterlightimage-46

Inevitability

The universe knows no other way than the way of inevitability. If you set your intention and work on your positive mindset the universe only knows how to align you with that exact manifestation. If you go there often, feel what it is really like to already experience that then the universe knows you are really alligned with that as your truth. They will provide the how, the people, the places, the education, the money to make each one of these happen for you.

By spending your time on the how instead of the what you are giving the universe mixed signals and will slow down the inevitability of manifestation.

This is why vision boards can be a powerful tool, they are not filled with the how of the world, the how i will get that money, how i will get that relationship. They are only filled with the images that inspire you. The more you can go into each one of them and put yourself into the feeling of already having that experience the faster you will be given the path to success.

Inevitability will also work in your favor on the fastest course if you pick up on the synchronicity that the universe is trying to give you. Where you recommended to see the same doctor 3 times? Did 2 people in the same hour tell you about why they recommend you travel to another state? These are signals of the least resistance. I like to think of this as you standing in a rushing river. Either way you are going to end up downstream. Are you trying to plant your feet and swim upstream to get to the edge of the river to walk to the nearby city? This will teach you lessons and probably build some strength but how much faster would you end up at the city downstream if you would have just relaxed and grabbed the nearest log and floated to the same city?

Pick up on the signals the universe is giving, follow them out of curiosity and the path to your inevitable will be enlightened.

Questioning why things happened in your past is also an energy drain and is a step backwards. Stop spending all of your time reflecting and start spending your time watching for the next step to move forward. Clean up old messes with people and step into the possibility of being your word and showing up differently vs. the way you may have acted in the past.

The choice is yours.

All of the dreams, the challenges and next steps are inevitable.

The path of least resistance will be yours for the choosing.

Fear is Excitement without Breath

I have been taking with a lot of people about fear recently and then a wonderful woman in my life talked about excitement and it all fell together. Fear is what holds us back and keeps us small. Our ego steps in whenever their is opportunity for growth and brings up the fears around that potential growth. You have to be able to take the leap, be unreasonable and trust that on the other side of fear will be growth and a world of wonder that you would have never dreamed possible.

Fear is healthy but also is an opportunity. Fear is what makes you act in actual unsafe situations. But, with practice you will be able to determine what is unsafe vs. what is ego.

Your natural fight or flight does not need to be activated all the time. Fight or flight is your entire system being in a state of excitement. Your senses are heightened and you are READY. In this situation you are without breath. You are only in action mode. In danger this is perfect because all you can do is act. When you start to feel this excitement I challenge you to take a breath.

Take a breath.

Bring yourself back into your body.

Question if you are actually in danger.

Question the way ego is keeping you small.

Question what would your life be like if you acted out of excitement vs. fear.

When you are ready to grow you will come RIGHT up to the edge of change. You will be in a state of excitement. Ego will step in and tell you all the reasons that you should not take the action to move on the other side of the line.

Ready for the real reflection?

All relationships are a mirror.

You may not be ready for it and when the relationship is going sour, it can be hard but you need to take a deep dive inside during these hard times so both people in the relationship can rise.

The universe will provide you each person who you need at exactly the right time in order for you to peel away a layer and understand more about yourself. You just have to be ready and willing to stare that mirror in the face until you can figure out what it is reflecting back on you.

You. You. You.

It all rolls back to you. Instead of point the finger at the other person, I recommend that you first need to start by pointing it at yourself. If you actually take this look inside you will see how or the ways you changed yourself during that relationship. What “little things” did that person do to you or what are the things that just drove you crazy? What were you not able to communicate? What were you not able to hear in what they were saying. What filter are you seeing them through. What blinders have you put on.

Examples:

When he/she said they want you to be honest no matter what, and then you just omitted some of the details, then you did not hear what they said.

I am not condoning violence or verbal abuse or any bad situations.

I want everyone to take a dive inside and REALLY look at yourself. How are you hearing people and what of your personal issues are you filtering conversations through?

Sometimes mirrors show up that you may not be ready for. If you are not ready to look yourself in the mirror in a pit-fall of a relationship, you will create the same issue inside a different one. (Sound familiar? “I just cant seem to meet a nice guy/girl?” “I only date bad guys/girls.” ) Sometimes when you wake up and realize it was you… then you can see people and old relationships through a whole new lens and possibility.

This work is hard. This work is meaningful but this hard, meaningful work on yourself will allow your relationships and your communication to soar.

There is so much opportunity if you are willing to be vulnerable and listen to your own stories you are see people live into. It takes two to tango and 50% of that relationship is you vs. 100% of what is being done “to you”.

Watch your patterns and see them and when someone asks you about them instead of becoming defensive really look at why things are stressing you out. It is an internal reflection that is there for you to choose.

I recently went through this with a partner. They wouldn’t respond to my calls or my messages. I had a bit of a melt down but then choose to look inside to see what was wrong with me. I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong to change them and push them away. After a few days, I was able to finally see later that the way I was acting was also pushing them away. When I go up into my head instead of just sharing with them I create the push away.

By me not sharing that they had not called me babe I was creating an emotional barrier of “I guess I am not good enough.” By sharing this vulnerability and need I opened myself up and shared how it affected me and then was able to get into their shoes and really support them through their own struggles. By sharing where my brain goes and telling them I was not feeling “good enough” we broke down a mirror and we are able to see eachother again.

The reason you see it in someone else is because you can see it inside yourself.

What reflections are you ready to see? What ones are you working on? Which ones keep showing up?

And so it is.