What is anxiety?

IMG_0198For years of my life I have struggled with anxiety and I didn’t even know that it was. I knew I had a streak of stubborness but I had no idea it was just anxiety. I would freak out if things didn’t go as planned. I litterly built my life around planning. I was a wedding planner, a strategic planner and buisness executive. I have a keen mind where I have that uncanny ability to see all the things that can ponetially go wrong before it ever happens. This is a beautiful insight as an operations executive but this also left me with frustration, wonder and worry.

If things didn’t go as planned or if someone wasn’t fitting inside of the box as I thought they should, my eye would twitch. Specifically, my left eye. This would happen when I was annoyed or when things weren’t going my way. This is not the most flattering literal twitch to have when you are leading a team of a couple hundred people people. There were many meetings where I would lean into my left hand just so that people couldn’t see my left eye twitching.

Then I learned present vs. future and where I am actually living.

When I feel myself getting into a state of just frustration because things are NOT going my way is when my stomach turns in knots and my left eye might twitch. The situation has not even happened yet and yet my body is experiencing the future as if it is happening now. The feelings my body is expereicing are the fear of what MIGHT happen.

Anxiety is worry and worry is the thought of something in the future.
It is NOT happening right now.

My eye would twitch because I was trying to controls something in the future that had not even happened yet. Once I was able to separate the difference between my feelings and myself i was able to get into action and impact what actually happened in the future.

Now when I start to feel flutters, twitches, heat, sweating about a situation i am I’m able to put my feet on the ground. I am able to become aware that whatever I am thinking about has not happened yet.

The circumstances that made you flutter, heat up or twitch are simply the reality of what is currently happening. Allowing these feelings to continue only distracts your mind from taking action. You have the choice to reframe your view of the situation. Instead of spending time and physical energy on the “shoulds/coulds” you can just get into action.

You have teh choice to stop putting your body in the future and allowing your anxieties or your frustrations to rule how you are experience your life, RIGHT NOW. The body can expereince feelings. You are not your feelings. You have a body. The feelings and sessations of the body do not define your personality or who you are.

Stop living in the future. Set yourself free, define the feeling and get into action.

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