It is all in the context
The reality is that I hate doing the dishes but I also use an insane amount of Tupperware during the week. When I get home every day from work I have about 3-5 bags with me that I dump in the living room. I don’t wash the table besides once a week. I wash my hair maybe 2-3 times per week and shave my legs probably 2 times per week. My kitchen is tiny and I live alone.
When I am around my friends they see the chaos and the mess in the kitchen but if you open the fridge it is organized AF!!!
I do chores throughout the week but typically wait for Friday night clean up all the dishes. And by Sunday the house is ready for another week of messes.
A relationship had developed from strictly fiends to potentially more. (It’s all in the context). He has only seen me as the hot mess friend. A whirlwind of dirty hair, gym clothes, Tupperware and an artistic flare. As soon as the context changed… I changed.
I walked into the house and found it in its typical messy insanity. Dishes everywhere and out of order.
In the context of friends… he had seen my house a mess and me in just sweats, wet hair and glasses.
Now in this new context of possibly moving the relationship from friends to potentially more the mess wasn’t presentable.
I walked in and there is a mound of dishes! I knew I didn’t have time to wash them so… this happened.
Yep… I shoved all the dishes underneath the sink. Then there were still more dishes so I filled my work cooler. I dry shaved my legs, put on clean clothes, took down my hair (this never happens), wiped down the table, shoved my work bags into a closet and started cooking for us.
It is amazing what you will do to look good in fear of looking bad. I am writing this and laughing at myself. I am committed to showing up as the real human. No more fear, just reality.
And so it is.