The breakup that made me cry … from laughing

I met “Olympics” while working a very stressful summer job. This job was full steam ahead 100% of the time and we worked between 40 and 60 hours in a 3 to 4 day period. There were high emotions and dilution after little sleep and long hours. I wasn’t sure if Olympics even noticed me my first weekend but over the summer we quickly got to know each other and spend more and more time together.

He was interesting because not only did we have a love for athletics but he was studying the law of attraction and was a massage therapist. He had this charming smile and light blue eyes. He had a six year old son and was renting from his parents while practicing for the winter Olympics.

Our first interaction, not on a work weekend, he had invited me to get a massage. I thought nothing of it because I have had many male masseuse prior to meeting Olympics. He was professional, kind and actually a decent massage therapist. We got to know eachother the weeks after that and he confessed that he was actually interested in me. We lived about an hour from each other but made it work because we had to spend every weekend together and during the week I had my other job.

I remember the first time I met his parents and I was super nervous. His mom had asked us to go set the table and I literally was so nervous I blanked out and could not remember which side the fork vs. spoon and knife go on.

We sat down and his dad blankly said, “Who on earth set this table?” I blushed and admitted to him I had set the table but at least I was dyslexic.

He found this quite interesting because Olympics was also dyslexic. He had many questions about my success in life and how I managed to adapt. As a child I was given a tutor, skills, and I have a lot of internal determination. I don’t see it as a hindrance and I see it as a creative opportunity to be the best list maker ever. I could see in his father’s face that I was very different than Olympics and I was never looking at dyslexia to be a crutch. Olympics and his family had a different outlook on dyslexia. I was still mortified that I had set the table incorrectly.

I was living alone in this tiny apartment in Milwaukee and was robbed. Olympics rushed to comfort me and I asked him to stay. He was traveling down daily to practice for the Olympics so it made sense for him just to stay and also it was comforting to know that someone would be there after the robbery.

Now I look back and say “oh my, I can’t believe two people lived in that space.” I think the whole apartment was maybe 500 sq ft. I learned in this relationship that I can be territorial.

School started back up and now I was working 20 to 30 hours and going to school full-time and still working some of my other jobs. I was getting up at 4 o’clock every morning, going to the gym before school. After class I would go home for a bit and then off to work from 2 to 8 PM. Basically, I was gone all the time and had very little time to myself or to catch up with other people.

At this point Olympics was living with me and not contributing much. I told him he could stay and look for a job but then it was a month or more of him watching movies and relaxing after practice and little to no job searching. With my driven personality this s⁂⁂t started to get to me.

Can you imagine this, I’m working more than 1 job and going to school full-time and he’s watching movies in my tiny apartment!?!

The moment I knew I needed to talk to him was the moment I got up in the morning to go to the gym at 4 AM and I open the fridge to grab my meal prep food and it was all gone.

Anyone that knows me, knows how territorial I am when it comes to food. On the weekends I spend time cooking and making sure that I have everything ready for the week. Don’t touch my macros.

I wanted to have a conversation with him that day in order to make sure that he understood that I needed him to go get a job and help support us but also needed him to understand the importance of my food being available when I needed it at 4 AM. It wasn’t about the food it was about the lack of communication that there was no food.

He had not contribute anything to this apartment, he only brought his stuff and put it in the drawers and baskets I had given him.

How the relationship ended:

On this particular day, I was in class and sent them a message to see if he was going to be home around 2 o’clock in order to get ready for work. I let him know that I was hoping that I could see him and talk to him before we both left for the afternoon. He was cautious and questioned about what I wanted to talk about and I just said I would like to talk to him when I got home.

I got out of class and went home to find a completely empty apartment.

Not just empty, but like he had taken all of his stuff and moved out. I said I wanted to talk and have a conversation about our relationship and he literally moved out. Not only did he move his stuff out but he made sure to leave the drawers open and tip the baskets over just to make sure I could see that his stuff was gone.

I was kind of distraught, upset and weirded out but at the same time I just needed to get my head straight, get into the shower and get ready for work.

I got into the shower and this is where I uncontrollably could not stop LAUGHING. The only thing he had contributed to the entire apartment was a bar of soap. Which he took!!!

Really, really, who takes the bar of soap?!? The only thing Olympics contributed and he took it with him!! Holy s⁂⁂t, it was so funny.

Later that day he said that he thought we just needed some time and some space apart. I was very vocal and direct, to let him know that he was not welcome back and that our relationship had ended. If he was so afraid to talk to me and he would just leave then this was never going to work long-term.

Things I know now:

  • If you are one determined person and the person you’re seeing is exactly opposite it may not work.
  • If you were territorial in any way, tell someone from the beginning.
  • If in your mind you have a timeline that you want the other person to abide to, tell them.
  • If the person literally runs away, you don’t have to take them back.
  • Don’t take the soap.

Things I appreciated and added to my “list”:

  • I loved that he was an athlete, it’s a huge thing we had in common.
  • He always did the dishes, even after he ate my food.
  • He had a lot of joy in the simplicity of the things around him, we could just sit and watch a sunrise and be perfectly content.

And so it is.

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